Google Glasses, No Thank You

16 April 2012
Posted by:
Google Glasses No Thank You

I’m dubious, I often am.

Sure, I may be the gal who said that cloud gaming companies like OnLive and Facebook’s Gaikai are going to overthrow home consoles. Yeah, I was also the one who made all those crazy predictions about the Xbox 720. But still, I am dubious of “wearable computers”. Of course, I am talking about Google’s recently revealed “Project Glass” and the lesser-known project by Valve’s Michael Abrash. For those of you who haven’t heard, Project Glass is Google’s answer to Iron Man’s sweet in-suit interface. Basically, an “eye”phone. See what I did there? I’m a riot. Project Glass comes from Google’s top-secret X Labs team, which is responsible for projects like the self-driving car. From the sound of it, Valve is coming up with basically the same thing. Who knows why? I don’t.

She is Super Futuristic!

If fact, I’m finding it hard to see the appeal of these glasses at all. Sure, when I first heard about them I was dazzled by the shiny concept pictures of a pretty woman in cool, futuristic glasses. She’s hip, she’s forward-thinking, she’s smart and edgy. I want to be her! I want those glasses! Then I thought about it for all of 30 seconds and admitted I wanted nothing to do with them. I’m one of those people who actually has prescription glasses. Well, I’m sure there are somewhere around here. I haven’t seen them in years and it doesn’t matter anyway because I hated wearing them. Anyone who has ever worn expensive prescription or brand-name glasses also knows the slow-motion horror of them falling off your face onto the pavement. Something always inevitably happens and if those computer glasses break, all the kings horses and all the kings men won’t be able to do a damn thing about it. At least, not without a hefty repair fee. Also, why are the horses repairing anything? What can their hooves possibly do?!

Let’s assume these glasses would be affordable and super durable. Where would these glasses be useable? Outside my house is the Sunshine State, sunglasses aren’t just a fashion statement. If the Google Glasses (or Valve’s “wearable computer”) have clear lenses, I wouldn’t be able to see outside! If they have tinted lenses, they would be useless inside. Don’t even get me started on transition lenses, joke and a half that they are. Even if the lenses are wearable outside, when exactly am I supposed to use them? Glasses that are worn all the time are often forgotten by the wearer. If the screen is always on, won’t the tiny screen just inside my peripheral vision be distracting as all heck? I don’t even want to think about how dangerous these would be on the road. I would never drive with them but I can think of a lot of people who would be that dumb. I have to drive on those roads too!

So, I’m not having the glasses, are there any other options for wearable computers? Personally, I don’t wear watches or jewelry very often. A product would have to be very impressive to push my iPhone 4 out of my heart. At this point, aren’t sci-fi glasses a little blase? I’m going to hold onto my cash until some real breakthroughs are on the market. How about computer chip implanted directly into my eyeball? Sign me up! Wait, I don’t want to be the first one, sign me up after the first 100 or so have been “installed”.

The above parody/warning video aside, here’s Google’s official Project Glass trailer.

Are you interested in Google or Valves computer glasses?

What kind of gaming opportunities could these glasses lead to? Leave me a comment below letting me know what you think. Love and Peace, from my PC to yours.

Share:

Categories: Mobile News, News, Videos

About the author

Laura Jones By Laura Jones: She blogs about and reviews video games to recapture her misspent youth, growing up gaming on hand-me-down consoles and cast-off computers with three siblings fighting over the controllers and helping each other beat Bosses. Read her posts and watch her video game reviews here and connect with her on Twitter and at Google+.


  • Recent Comments

  • Archives