Movie director Uwe Boll has been universally panned by both movie critics, regular people (yes, regular people) and video game fans the world over. The German-born director has been made infamous by taking video game licenses and effectively butchering them with his movies supposedly based on said games.
Games that have gotten the horrible Uwe Boll treatment include the likes of: The House of the Dead, BloodRayne, Alone in the Dark as well as several upcoming projects including a movie called Seed and two more upcoming game-based flicks: “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale†(which may be split in two halves), and “Postal”. Thankfully, Uwe Boll’s Fear Effect project has since been taken over by Chinese director Stanley Tong (Jackie Chan flicks Rumble in the Bronx, Supercop, First Strike & U.S. film Mr. Magoo) who will have a budget of $25 million to make the film (scheduled to shoot in 2008), which as a fan of the game is music to my ears.
And now, Uwe Boll, is FED UP . . . .(his words, not mine) with the negative critics. Dr. Uwe Bol had this to say, “I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. I have been told that “BloodRayne†has a very bad IMDB rating, but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres.†So what’s an enraged movie director to do? Why, create a contest to box the winners in a “superstar” grudge match (of galactic proportions!) that only the mind of Uwe Bol could dream up, of course!
Dr. Boll has continually been roasted for the films he has directed and produced. His last two films, House of the Dead & Alone in the Dark, cost $20 million but they have grossed over $110 million to-date, obviously quite successful despite all the negative reviews. The same negative reactions from some of the same press and the internet critics are now being directed at Uwe Boll’s latest film; BloodRayne.
So in response, Uwe Bol has this to say (contest details below):
On July 17th, 2006 Uwe will start filming his next feature film, “Seedâ€, starring Will Sanderson, Ralf Moeller, Michael Pare & Andrew Jackson. Following that film he will go into production in late September with another feature called “Postalâ€. Both movies will be shot in Vancouver, BC, Canada.
Towards the end of the filming of the “Postal†the 5 most outspoken Uwe Boll critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra / stand-in in “Postal†and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.
To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the internet or have written in magazines or newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Please submit proof of your negative reviews & comments via e-mail to:
info@boll-kg.de
All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 64 kilograms (140 lbs.) and 86 kilograms (190 lbs.). You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid or entitled to any residuals
or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be covered.
Dr. Uwe Boll’s invitation to fight and/or appear in his film is extended to all his harshest critics. Roger Avary and Quentin Tarantino are among the most eligible candidates.